Complete onboarding

Add each child's profile, invite your co-caregiver, and choose a starting phase. This takes about 5 minutes.

Log daily warmth moments

Aim for 3+ positive interactions per day. They don't need to be big — a hug, a silly song, a moment of eye contact.

Check in weekly

Review the consistency checklist with your co-caregiver. Alignment doesn't require agreement — it requires communication.

"I notice you seem…"

Observations without judgement open conversations. "I notice you seem frustrated" invites rather than accuses.

"What do you need right now?"

Giving the child agency builds self-awareness. Even if they can't answer, the question plants the seed.

"I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

For children with attachment disruption, presence is the intervention.

Skipping the trust phase

Rushing to skill-building before felt safety is established will reduce effectiveness. Safety always comes first.

Inconsistency between homes

Children in blended families are especially sensitive to inconsistency. Use the alignment checklist regularly.

Shame-based responses

"Stop crying" and "You're being ridiculous" dysregulate the nervous system further. Repair matters more than perfection.

You can't pour from an empty cup

Your nervous system regulation directly affects your child's. Prioritising your own calm is not selfish — it's the work.

Rupture and repair is normal

You will have hard moments. What matters is the repair. A sincere apology from a caregiver is extraordinarily powerful.

Progress is rarely linear

Two steps forward, one step back is the pattern. Celebrate the two steps.